Halloween--It's Not Just for Kids Anymore

Well folks, Halloween is officially over! And thank goodness--I couldn't wait to take that face paint off (no, it's not makeup, it's face paint)! Jaydn dressed as dracula (we never told him that dracula drinks blood), and Jessi and I dressed up as a trashy couple. When I came home from work, Jaydn and Jessi were painting their faces. Jaydn was doing his own face, which turned out quite interesting. The sight was really funny.

Jessi and I wore plastic bags over our shirts, connected to plastic bags on the bottom (like a skirt). Then we taped newspaper, egg carton pieces, straws, toilet paper, plastic bags, etc. to the bags that we were wearing. We were, truly, a trashy couple. Our official Halloween family name was "white trash," or, as one of my Samoan friends interpreted, "Lapisi Palagi." The ratted hair and face paint were just for extra wierd looks. I think Jessi looks like one of the band members on KISS.

Jessi had this great idea that we would paint eyes on my eyelids, kind of like Captain Jack Sparrow on "Pirates of the Carribean." It was an interesting experiment, but the eyes didn't turn out fantastic. Jessi thinks I look creepy (I don't look anything like ol' Jack). I probably look more like a really crazy mime or something (a patriotic mime). And no, I wasn't trying to go for the Ronald McDonald pasty-face look.

Finally, we gathered outside the house for a group picture--a big, happy, group picture--before going off to the church party. We would be, truly, the strangest looking family at the church.




OK, happy.

Jaydn didn't just put a magic spell on us, did he?

OK, the rumor on the street was that Samoans brought kids into our neighborhood on Halloween by the bus loads. Because we're good looking? No. Because we make oodles of dollars? Yes. You wouldn't think that a $34,000 contract made you rich, but Samoans do. So, to beat the rush, we bought absolutely no candy to hand out and booked it over to the church . . .

. . . which was no different. I guarded the front gates, where we were going to have the trunk-or-treater cars park (that's trick-or-treating Mormon style for those of you in Rio Linda). Immediately upon opening the gates, a stream of mothers and children (from who knows where) poured into the church yelling "trick or treat! Smell my feet!" They hadn't a clue that there was a Halloween carnival inside, and that nobody was passing out candy to passing children. A few moments later, they all exited the church area, and I noticed their bags were empty (maybe it was the invitation to smell a dirty bodily extremity that turned people off). The kids looked confused; the mothers just mumbled under their breaths in Samoan. I can only imagine what they were saying, "I can't believe it! They didn't give us any candy! How rude!" Maybe I'm mean or something, but it just struck me as very funny.

The carnival was well prepared, and afterward there was a spook alley (which was a little strange in a church building), dinner and then the trunk-or-treat. Immediately when the trunk-or-treat started, a line of kids (and adults) came into the gates from off the streets to share in the Halloween candy. Now that I think about it, I should have blurted out "so, you want to be a Mormon, too?" when they came in, but I wasn't quick enough. Anyway, maybe now they'll develop a sweet tooth for the LDS church.


I came home and quickly washed the white gunk off my face. Halloween is only one day. Thank goodness it's over.