Ronald McDonald, American Samoa Idol

What a weekend!

Unfortunately, Jaydn and I were under the weather this weekend, so we kept a low profile. Nevertheless, we still enjoyed ourselves. Our friends had the misfortune of being robbed last week, so we loaned them our cameras. Thus, no photos this week (sob).

We loaned the cameras so they could videotape their daughter in a dance recital. What was the occasion? The arrival of Ronald McDonald in American Samoa! No, I'm not kidding. In the morning, we drove over to McDonalds to see what all the commotion was about. There must have been over 500 people crammed into a small grassy area next to the McDonalds watching several dance numbers set to Disney songs. Samoans were smashed in all the way past the sidewalk and overflowing into the street adjacent to McDonalds, just to see this event that had been publicized for weeks by the local newspapers. Another 100 people were probably crammed into McDonalds, setting a new record and causing a terrible fire hazard. McDonalds was making some major dough.

Right when we arrived, a children's dance number was finishing and what appeared to be a very tall, muscular woman came onto the stage to perform the next number. Dressed like Pocahontas, she(?) did a dance number and lip sync to "Colors of the Wind" from, you guessed it, Pocahontas. But was she, a he? Yessirreebob, it was a man Pocahontas giving us our musical lesson on the environment. No offense, but that was weird--especially considering the overabundance of children glued to the happenings on the stage.

Most of the dance numbers were adorable, with young children and older junior and high-school aged kids performing Samoan dances. Others, I could have done without. Take for example the skinny Samoan high school boy and the over-overweight friend (no shirts, of course) doing a lip sync to the songs of "The Lion King," air-instruments and everything included. Which wouldn't be so bad if they had remembered to continuously lip sync, which they apparently on occasion forgot they were doing. "Can You Feel the Love Tonight" really just doesn't work in this setting.

However, nothing could have prepared me for what came next. After all of the good, the bad, and the downright ugly dancing (were we the only ones recognizing the difference?), the emcee announced "the moment you've all been waiting for," and everyone screamed at the top of their lungs for Ronald. "Who do you want?" "Ronald McDonald!!!" And on to the stage gallumphed Ronnie himself! (I have to admit, when I was younger I thought that Ronald McDonald was really Ronald Reagan Jr. all dressed up. Every time I see Reagan Jr., I still think about Ronald Mc. Donald) He looked just like on his commercials--big red boots, yellow-red-white jumpsuit, white gloves, completely white face (except for nose), red wig, etc. He was the real McCoy. Until he spoke. Ronnie was an Aussie. And for the next hour (at least) he entertained the audience with magic tricks.

You've got to be kidding me. This is what American Samoa has been so wound-up about? This is what has caught front-page news for weeks? Oh, brother.

Even Jaydn, bless his heart, recognized how lame ol' Ronald was. When I recommended we leave, he whole-heartedly backed up my recommendation.

As we left, we quickly noticed that this 1/4 acre of land would end up strewn with cups, burger wrappers, fries containers, and McDonalds food bags as far as the eye could see. Too bad we didn't have a garbage bag (or maybe 50 would be more like it).

We did go snorkeling later in the day, but it was so uneventful I would rather not discuss it. Let's just say, we did not see anything of any significance.

I really want to end this blog describing our Family Home Evening activity. It was Jaydn's turn to organize the activity, and he decided we were going to have a "Who Can Draw the Scariest Guy" Coloring Contest. Jessi drew a pretty convincing "fire bull," which looked like the scary monster that takes down Gandolf in the first Lord of the Rings movie. I drew a muscle-ripped demon creature, which I called "The Thrasher." Ever since my mission, I have thought that the toughest word I could think of was to "thrash." It comes from Ether 10:25, which describes the people of Lib making "all manner of tools to till the earth, both to plow and to sow, to reap and to hoe, and also to thrash."

I don't know exactly what to "thrash" means, but man, isn't that tough? It's tougher than to destroy, or to demolish, to obliterate, or to slash, trash, or pulverize. It's the toughest word, until someone convinces me otherwise.

Jaydn drew a scary looking guy. When he heard the names we gave for our scary dudes, he had to one-up us. Jaydn told me his guy was named "Scary-head-gun-hand-sledgehammer-hand-spikey-fire-foot-storm-trooper." Wo. Now that's tough.

I don't know who won the contest, since Jaydn just decided that "we all won." But thank goodness Halloween will be over tomorrow, because I just can't deal with all of this scary stuff!