Sunday, August 17, 2008

Dorf on Golf

So I arranged a BYU law society luncheon on Friday. That's not the funny part, though. I also arranged for us to have a golf scramble afterward. Me? Golf? It just makes my lips numb to think about it. You could tie golf clubs to my hands and I would be golfing. Sort of like Bill Murray:

I have absolutely zippo experience golfing (except a few lessons when I was 12). When I showed up at the course, I was like, "um, can I share clubs with you?" Share? Clubs? Apparently it's not done. So one of the guys in our group went to his car and got another set of clubs for me. Then I realized--"oh, oops, I can't use those. I'm left-handed." I guess golf clubs are not baseball bats.

So I got my own leftie clubs and we got going. Thank goodness it was a "scramble" where we play the best ball! We were there for about 4 1/2 hours, but if I hit off my own position each time I would have easily have been there for 10 hours!

Golf is really just another one of Bill Murray's movies. It felt like "Groundhog Day" on every hole. I mean, you hit the ball 50 yards or so, drive up and take a few more swipes at the ball (occasionally striking out, even though it's not baseball), and then some other guy gets it in the hole. Then, when you realize you're two over par (whatever that is), you have to start AGAIN. Hit the ball, drive the cart, swipe a few more times, someone else hits it in the hole. AGAIN. Hit, drive, swipe. AGAIN. Hit drive swipe. 18 times.

At least I was golfing with some great guys. I mean, what kind of guy has it in him to zip it while you're swinging airballs one, two, three times in a row? These guys were nice. Of course, they were standing behind me, so I have no idea what they were doing.

Anyway, it was fun but not really me. Am I ready to ditch the sport of my profession? Maybe. At least I wouldn't mind if I didn't have to play... that much. But it'll happen again. I'm a lawyer for crying out loud!